Caring for Self While Caring for Others
by Anne Johnson-Oliss, M.Ed.
Humans care for each other as a rule. We help strangers, neighbors, friends. We even help friends on moving day, given the right motivation.
But, being a caregiver for someone who needs pervasive guidance or assistance requires a different set of personal resources. When we help lost people with directions, it is a short interaction punctuated by a polite, "Thank you!" When we assist neighbors with household tasks, the physical demands are limited in time and scope. Even moving days end with friends enjoying pizza at the end of an exhausting day. Extended care requires more and different personal resources including:
physical endurance for early mornings and late nights
executive functioning for planning and organizational tasks
mental health and resilience for challenges that caring brings
critical thought and problem-solving for two
Recognition
First, recognize that the types of care administration are different. It's okay to identify that love and caretaking exist in different forms and intensities.
Food & Hydration
Unhealthy comfort foods may taste delicious when we eat them, but a steady diet of foods with low nutritional value will leave our bodies less responsive to the requirements of our daily lives. Eating balanced, substantial meals, and drinking water throughout each day will keep each person healthier and more prepared for the form of caretaking required.
Hygiene
We have a lot of practice with handwashing even before the pandemic. Being a parent, educator, or specialist, we know that we should wash our hands thoroughly multiple times each day. However, this may be the first self-care tactic that is set aside when we are busy! Handwashing, showering, and overall good hygiene practices are important parts of caring for ourselves and others.
Sleep
Yep. We know. Get enough rest to support the immune system, but that means something different for each of us. First, decide what is an optimal night of sleep and strive to meet that objective each night. Maintaining a solid sleep schedule with enough rest for our bodies gives us the reserves we need for physical and mental well-being.
Physical Health
Incorporating movement into our daily routines promotes the release of endorphins, whether it is just some stretches, a short walk, or a full-body workout. Endorphins improve our moods, boost our immune systems, and keep our muscles healthy. One additional component of physical health is keeping our routine medical appointments for our health. Skipping annual physicals or routine bloodwork will compromise our health goals.
Mental Health
Thankfully, personal mental health is getting more attention in 2021 but, caring for our mental health can seem like a monumental undertaking when we provide daily care for another person. Consider breaking down the concept of mental wellness into daily practice and additional supports. Daily mental wellness includes self-advocacy, proper boundaries as only we can do for ourselves, and understanding when we need additional supports to sustain mental health. When we decide to include outside supports for mental health, we may be surprised to know how many tactics we have at our disposal! From religious community support, in-person or online support groups, or professional therapists and counselors are all options that enjoy far less stigma today than even five years ago. Of course, if anyone reading this is experiencing thoughts of self-harm or thoughts of harming other people, please take urgent steps to get help by calling 9-1-1.
Schedule It
When we have difficulty finding time for self-care, consider scheduling a few minutes in each busy day for these important tasks. In order to continue delivering care for others, we must prioritize ourselves. Consider blocking time in small increments to keep self-care top of mind each day.
Have thoughts on self-care? We would love to hear them!